My Perspective: Why Don't These Women Just Leave? by Elaine Weiss

 The writing tells a story about abusive relationships and their effects. The author is a survivor of an abusive relationship and mentioned she is "capable of a good marriage" and spent 19 years trying to understand her first.

Though it is a good feeling not being a part of the data for domestic violence, Weiss notes that there is a trauma she carries from the experience. Additionally, she presents an opposing opinion on abusive relationships from a conversation she overheard.

“You know, the women who let themselves be abused are just as sick as the man who abused them. She also should have walked out the first time he raised a hand to her. That's what I would have done.”

Realistically speaking, the majority believe that women are to be blamed for their abuse as they can simply leave or call the police. The author notes that individuals never consider that “he should have stopped being abusive"- when really, he should have never started. For example, a woman can be fully dependent on her abuser for things like shelter and money. Consequently, if she leaves, she can end up homeless or broke; particularly, if there is no one to help or support her.

The author acknowledges how infuriating it is to hear the vain question; “Why don't these women just leave?” Then gives reasons as to why she didn't.

1. The way she thought the world worked and what she was raised to believe made her think it could not happen to people like her.
2. No one accepted that it happened. An old belief of society at the time, though some still shared that belief.
3. She thought it was her fault, blaming herself for what she did and did not do.
4. She grew accustomed to living a lie. The mask her husband put on in public.
5. She thought she could fix it. Her reason was that “rational people don’t suddenly turn violent without provocation.”
6. She believed she was overreacting. Regardless of being Physically and mentally abused, she sought out the positive in the situation. “At least he never gave me a black eye or a broken arm.”
7. At the time, there was no support for abused women. Though there are more platforms today that help individuals in an abusive relationship it's difficult to admit a relationship is abusive.

I would believe those reasons are the same for most (if not all) facing abuse. One can be so wrapped around the idea of love and not realize the experience is not that of love. They may come up with excuses for their partners. Like the ones, the author gives in paragraph 5.

   "Man who batter their partners are themselves in pain."

   "Their behavior is a desperate attempt to make themselves feel in control."

   "Many of them were once victims of abuse."

   "They need professional help."

I am overly happy that the author was able to leave after professors, university friends and, the encounter with the unknown woman shed light on her situation. Also, she was able to find peace over the years from the torment. Despite still having triggers from the ordeal, she gratefully escaped with her life. Weiss is truly “one of the lucky ones” who shared her experience and became an advocate for abusive relationships.